2005 Christmas Drinks

The NRFC Christmas drinks were once again an unmissable night.

I guess the writing was on the wall when the frost hit on Saturday night and most games in the area fell victim to a rock hard pitch.
Our game was actually called off as the ref could not get there due to an accident the day before... the drunk-driving, junkie, reckless mug! (this is not confirmed, and could be completely not true)
We decided not to take our hosts up on their offer of a friendly, telling them they would be better off having their legs in tact for Christmas. They looked disappointed especially as they had just finished a 2 hour warm up that consisted of every drill you can think of and lots of shouting "one team one dream"... Mugs!

With so many Sunday league teams and so little playable pitches we thought that Romford was going to be full loads of boozy groups of blokes... and it was, so when in Rome!

We kicked off in The Place, Spice and Smiler got there early doors to secure the VIP lounge, and the Spurs fans amongst us got there shortly after to watch their boys on the box.

By the time the second game (and main event in most peoples eyes) kicked off most of us were in the VIP lounge making bets with each other and passing the ash tray round, to be honest it was all starting to get out of hand early doors. Smiler was relaying his nodding head/keys in hand story, and Waddy sat there doing impressions of a deaf girl, in front of the slow waitress "are they serving food yet?" "what is your name?".
His reason for the impressions... Puff has (allegedly) employed a deaf girl to work on the phones... that company never cease to amaze me!
Spoof was called at half time, Sutton lost, Marky P won and for some reason called Brandy?? Sutton ordered one extra but was saved from doing the double by his little cuz and big skipper Neville who decided to take it for him even though he had only just got there.
Gregg and Spice were snuggled up on the sofa for the rest of the game and as we got more and more boozy we made the decision to head to 131 for the lure of cheap drink.

Spice went straight to the bar and it was skittles all round, Waddy's ex came in and requested F U Right Back, and Sutton called Spoof. Flavoured Zambouca was the drink of choice, and Marky P was the loser this time round.
Hollamby joint up with the group and it was not too long before spoof was called again, Bosh lost and the drink was paint stripper (or that's what it tasted like).

It must have been at this point that the doorman started to think 'how the fuck am i gona get this lot out later if they carry on drinking at this rate', and asked us to start thinking about moving on. Even though it was funny watching Hollamby ask them how they planned to move him and Marky P on, with Rossell just itching to get in on the act as well, we decided to spend our money elsewhere... Edwards the obvious choice.

This is where most of the Sunday sides still standing (use that term loosely) had headed to but there was no hint of it getting ugly.
Apparently Noel Gallagher was in there?? as was Gregg in 10 years (and stones) time.
Sutton was being a menace, making Puff smell Waddys arse was a good example of that!
Nev was networking with some bird and then Waddy the Sniper went over and it all went tits up. Nev was so scared he was gonna ruin his chances that he put his hands over the birds ears and made a la la la la la noise really loud. As it turned out the bird was all over the skip anyway and Nev went over to thank Waddy after as apparently he kept telling the birds that Nev had a cock and half on him.
Spice went to Speak to Gregg at the bar who was talking to a freak (well, being spoken to by her is more accurate) and she tried to get Gregg out the way so Spice could get to the bar?? don't think she fully took the hint until Waddy and Sutton sang the whole 4 and a half minutes of 'Mandy' hanging off his neck and climbing into his t-shirt.
Mark just kept saying "Spicy I want a double vodka Red Bull" (and by the way he took his hangover quite well, sick 3 times the next morning).
Gav didn't talk for about 3 weeks!! Spice and Puff were playing a 'who can spill the most drink on me?' game, it was a close call between Ross and Smiler!! Smiler had earlier thrown Sutton's drink all over the leather sofa (which Waddy then came and sat in) so i think he should win.
Ross turned into the hulk for a little while at the bar, but then he pulled a bird and calmed down a bit.
There was a hint of homo in the air too, Waddy decided to plant kisses on anyone and everyone in an attempt to play gay spoof, but he got caught out when Sutton threw the tongue in! Bosh was seen kissing Hollamby and Hollamby was seen kissing Marky P!!! However they quickly regained their macho image again by seeing off some geezer and making him say sorry to Waddy for no apparent reason. The bloke then went home (what did they say?)


Waddy spent most of the night talking to Katie the temp, who was repeatedly called 'fuck in a tent' by Sutton, and despite lots of sharking Clifton was told that Nev and Sutts youngest cousin and her mates were off limits!
As the lights came on and the music stopped most people went their separate ways, Nev picked off a young ginger girl in the middle of the chippy, he later threw his portion of chips at her as she walked away. His reasoning... she made me drop my fucking sausage in batter, and i really wanted it!
Some bloke fell flat on his back outside on all the slippery chips and that was just about the perfect ending to a great day out!