North Romford vs Ascot United - 25/09/2005

NRFC maintained their 100% record with this convincing 2-0 victory over dogged opponents on Sunday.
Goals;
Marky P, Bosh


It was felt that playing on the show pitch was putting too much pressure on the lads, so a change of plan was adopted with the game being played on one of the training pitches. With no Eric the Turk, and Sid the Greek only on the line, Timid decided to start with the same side that finished the week before, meaning a first start for Nev's mate Jason. Unfortunately, he was forced to cry off with a bad back, leaving the door open for the veteran Hollamby to reclaim the fullback slot. As he had brought the super yellow kit, it was only right that he should start!

NRFC started brightly, knocking the ball around with some panache. Although there was no end product you could see the confidence oozing from the pores of the players, other than Clifton, who was as pissed as a fart!!
Ascot began to get into the game as the first half wore on, and went closest when the buccaneering centre forward beat Spicy for pace, only to be thwarted by the legs of the Big Man between the sticks. Surely he is the best English keeper outside the Premiership!!
This acted as a wake up call for the yellow and blues, and they began to press again, with Wadsy adopting a Scholes-like personality and breaking late into the box. JJ went close with a header from Wadsy's corner, having nearly broken his ankle taking the corner before! It is never advisable to kick thefloor first..
Other than a couple of half-hearted shouts for penalties, when the Ascot back-four decided to be the Harlem Globetrotters, the first half ended goalless.

Proving themselves a second half team, the NRFC boys came out blazing and took the lead after 2 minutes of the 2nd half. Smiler sublimely intercepted a through ball on his chest, and set up the move of the game. It was moved through Wadsy to Nev, whose burst into the box was Keane-like in its motion. He picked out Parmenter, who side stepped the lumbering centre half with aplomb and slotted into the corner.
The game meandered for 25 minutes with NRFC looking in no trouble until Smiler tried to usher the ball back to Brownie, only for the centre forwardto nudge him off. Get on the weights Curran!!
Luckily the Big Man was there to snuff out the shot, you could see how much the clean sheet meant to him. It was then that Wadsy damaged his knee and was pushed up front. What a tactical change. The boy was everywhere, rampaging down both flanks, and testing the keeper with a left foot thunderbolt. He should have scored with 5 to go when he was put clean through by Marky P, but he passed it back to the keeper. From the resulting throw out Marky P was presented with an open goal, which he managed to boot towards the fire station. His defence? He wanted them to have to walk a long way to get the ball back!! He then hit the bar with a right foot volley, and the bar is still shuddering today!!
There was still time for Nev to get absolutely battered by a kid of about 7, and the whining that emanated from the skipper suggested a serious injury. Luckily, he is just a weed, who had been winded!! It was only a matter of time before the second goal arrived, and it was duly delivered by Gav at the far post from a ludicrous Wadsy long throw. There were rumours amongst the crowd that Gav was trying to miss, but these are unfounded! Overall, a very pleasing outcome with Timid being touted as the next England manager already.
TIMID FOR ENGLAND! TIMID FOR ENGLAND!

Team: Big Man, Veteran, Cordelli, Spicy (Nev's mate Jason), Smiler, Student,Ace, Bugs, Waddy, Dangerous, Rossell (Nev's mate Jason's brother Simeon).
report by Kevin Parmenter

Season Stats

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Played 15 Won 8 Drawn 0 Lost 7 Scored 42 Conceded 48

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*appearance and goals stats include home game vs InterCity*

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Player Appearances

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16 Rabey

16 Johnson (1 as sub)

16 Brown

15 Neville

15 Clifton (1 as sub)

15 Wadsworth (2 as sub)

14 Richards

14 Hollamby

12 Cordell

11 Sutton

10 Cassidy (2 as sub)

10 Ricky (4 as sub)

08 Curren

04 Parmenter M

04 Edwards J (3 as sub)

04 Alex

02 Big James

02 Cordell T

01 Puffin

01 Glynn

01 Andy

01 MacClements

01 Vint A

01 Vint J (1 as sub)

01 Edwards S (1 as sub)

01 Ask

01 Smith (1 as sub)

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Golden Boot

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16 Sutton

08 Neville

05 Richards

03 Ask

03 Edwards

02 Johnson

02 Clifton

01 Parmenter

01 Cassidy

01 Rabey

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Bad Boys

Sutton ------ 4 points Red 1 Yellow 1

Rabey -------3 points Yellow 3

Hollamby --1 point Yellow 1

Richards --- 1 point Yellow 1

Clifton ------ 1 point Yellow 1

Johnson --- 1 point Yellow 1

Brown ------ 1 point Yellow 1

Ricky 1 ------ 1 point Yellow 1

Innercity vs North Romford – 18/09/2005

North Romford left it late but won 2-1

Goals;
Edwards.

Sunday 18th September saw the start of another long, arduous campaign for the NRFC lads. With a couple of retirements pre-season, along with unavailability from key players, it was vital they got off to a good start.
As was to be expected, the opposition were keen to impress, being new to the league. They were out warming up before Timid Mick had even turned up. It is rumoured he was late as he was having an extra couple of minutes on the sunbed, but this is unconfirmed.
With the usual dressing room festivities out of the way, he named his first line-up of the season, and there were a few surprises!! Spicy was selected to start at centre-half, with Wadsy lining up at right-back. There were rumbles on the terraces that Wadsy should have kept his midfield anchor role, following his complete performance in the pre-season friendly, but Mick had other ideas.
The game began with NRFC soon settling into a fluent style, akin to Holland ’74 and it wasn’t long before the first of the 206 misses occurred, probably from Gav!! The game continued in the same vein for the entire first half, with misses being spread throughout the side. Marky P was guilty of suffering from weak foot disease, and Nev and Gregg ballsed up an open goal, as they have to be side-by-side at all times!!
Unbelievably, the half-time score was 0-0, with Brownie not having a shot to save. The message went out that all the boys needed to do was play the same way, and the first goal would surely come, and come it did! The Innercity forward was played through beautifully by Wadsy, and he made no mistake in slotting past the Big Man, who had a look at disbelief on his face, probably because Wadsy had played a decent pass!!
It was now that the rollickings begun, with Spicy, Gav & the Gaffer becoming embroiled in a family feud not seen since Grant & Phil both slept with Sharon in Eastenders. This did little to help confidence in the ranks, and chances continued to be squandered by the wasteful NRFC. This wasn’t helped by Herman Munster in the Innercity goal playing like the Polish goalkeeper of 1973, and saving everything that was on target. Bearing in mind that he had the tightest bottoms on ever seen, it was quite an achievement!!
The equalizer came when Nev’s mate Jason arrived unmarked to head home from a Johnson free-kick. You would think that this would stop the arguing, but you would be wrong! On and on it went, with Gav still missing glorious chances, even when he was arguing with Jamie. Quite incredible.
The deserved winner came when Jason broke from midfield and fired across the 9ft 8in freak, who was helpless to move let alone save it.
The final whistle sounded without any further drama, until the comfort of the dressing room, when the arguments continued in earnest, with Wadsy invited to join. Nothing
was achieved by this, and we all look forward to Sunday, when the same problems will rear their ugly heads!
I am so glad the season is back..
Team: Brown, Wadsworth Jnr, Rabey, Cordelli, Smiler, McClements, Johnson, Neville, Richards, Clifton, M Parmenter (Edwards).

report by Kev P

NRFC squad stats

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Name: Sutton
Age: 26
DOB: 25-08-79
Birthplace: Barking Hospital
Marital Status: Living with Partner
Dream Woman: Partner of course!!! (if she did the off though i would go after someone like Catherine Zeta Jones)
Occupation: Sports Production Company
Position: Rights Manager
Favourite Team: West Ham
Favourite Player: Ronaldinho (current)
Hobbies and Interests: Football, Drinking, Pro Evo
Favourite Team mate: Like all good strikers, the team has never been a concern of mine!
Hero: Julian Dicks
Nickname: Sutts
Most known for: Scoring Goals.
Most memorable NRFC moment: woman on the train to the races (Spices Birthday)
Most memorable game: Winning the Old Parks 5 a side plate and bagging a trick in the final!

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